Man bites dog
Jerry Banes, 33, had to be pulled away from Fluffles, 4, after clamping his gnashers on the pup’s paws during a game of fetch gone horribly wrong. The bizarre incident unfolded in a sunny park in Westfield Heights, leaving onlookers scratching their heads—and Fluffles scratching his paws.
Witnesses claim the game started innocently enough. Banes, an avid tennis ball enthusiast and proud “dog dad,” was showing off his impeccable throws to a small group of spectators. Fluffles eagerly bounded after each toss, wagging her tail with unmatched vigor. But things took an odd turn when Banes decided to switch roles. “He said, ‘Let’s see how Fluffles likes chasing me!’ and grabbed the ball in his mouth,” recounted local jogger Linda Marks. “The next thing we knew, it was Jerry versus Fluffles in a full-on tug-of-war—with their mouths!”
The tension reached its peak when Fluffles cleverly swapped tactics, dropping the tennis ball and going for Banes’ shoelaces. Not to be outdone, Banes retaliated with what he described as “instinctive pack behavior,” chomping lightly on Fluffles’ paw to reassert dominance. Unfortunately for Banes, Fluffles was not amused and let out an indignant bark loud enough to summon three other dogs and one very confused squirrel.
Park rangers arrived moments later, separating the two with a mixture of stern words and dog biscuits. Fluffles emerged unharmed but visibly unimpressed, while Banes was escorted off the premises. “I wasn’t trying to hurt her,” Banes later explained. “It’s just, sometimes you’ve got to speak their language, you know? Turns out, I don’t speak fluent woof.”
In the aftermath, Fluffles reportedly spent the evening being pampered with belly rubs and an extra-large serving of kibble. Banes, however, faces a lifetime ban from the park and a stern talking-to from his dog trainer. Experts now warn: when it comes to fetch, humans should probably leave the chewing to the professionals.
